office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
