don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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