my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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