i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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