pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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