i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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