Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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