Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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