then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
