It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
