My friends, they love my intelligence
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
