...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
