this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
