Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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