I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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