I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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