Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
