I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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