yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
