I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
how does that bad decision feel?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
