It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
