i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I smell stomach acid.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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