I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
