You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont even know how to be here
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
