Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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