Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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