youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Randomize