susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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