Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
