Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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