All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I wear drunk well.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
