I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize