I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Apparently you make a good broom.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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