Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
