i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
