she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
