Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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