That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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