who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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