I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
