Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
