i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
