Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
