How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
