ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize