I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
