Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
