Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
