shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
