Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize