so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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