The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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