Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
