I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
