found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
